
The Roman Emperor Caligula, to demonstrate his contempt for the Roman Senate, appointed, by some accounts, his horse, Incitatus, to the Senate so that the horse could be made a consul of Rome. This ancient tale is called to mind by events of recent days, but not for reasons many may suspect. The following poem of Zbigniew Herbert (translated by Oriana Ivy) suggests that the horse had merits as an appointee which many of the recent suggested appointees do not.
***
Caligula Speaks
Among all the citizens of Rome
I loved only one
Incitatus–a horse
when he entered the Senate
the unstainable toga of his coat
gleamed in the midst
of purple-lined assassins
Incitatus possessed many merits
he never made speeches
had a stoic temperament
I think at night in the stable he read the philosophers
I loved him so much that one day I decided to crucify him
but his noble anatomy made it impossible
he accepted the honor of consulship with indifference
exercised authority in the best manner
that is not at all
he would not be persuaded toward a lasting liason
with my second wife Caesonia
thus unfortunately the lineage of centaur caesars
was not engendered
that’s why Rome fell
I determined to have him declared a god
but on the ninth day before the February calends
Cherea Cornelius Sabinus and the other fools
interfered with my pious plans
he accepted the news of my death with calm
was thrown out of the palace and condemned to exile
he bore this blow with dignity
he died without descendants
slaughtered by a thick-skinned butcher from Ancium
Tacitus is silent
about the posthumous fate of his meat
