The Counterpoint of Ponder, O Morpheus, the Night Sky
Caspar David Friedrich, The Sea of Ice, also called The Wreck of Hope Oil on canvas, 96.7 cm × 126.9 cm (1823–1824).
On the Unmaking of Benediction
This cycle of verses—The Inversion Cycle—emerged not as a contradiction, but as a counterweight to The Blessing of Morpheus: The Sending Forth, a series of benedictions articulated in reverent tones and metaphysical gestures within the poem Ponder, O Morpheus, the Night Sky. That earlier work was rooted in the soul’s deep yearning toward the ineffable, culminating in luminous affirmations bestowed by the dream-god Morpheus upon the seeker. In time, those benedictions came to feel too complete, too resolved. I began to wonder: what if they failed?
TheInversion Cycle is not blasphemy, but a form of apophatic honesty. It does not seek to erase Ponder, but to stand beside it—its negative counterpoint. Each scroll of the cycle corresponds to a specific line or blessing from Ponder and performs an act of unmaking: where Morpheus blesses, these verses refrain; where he sends the seeker into mystery, these verses stall at the threshold; where he assures, they withhold.
To honor that reversal, a further restraint was imposed: the exclusion of the very vocabulary upon which the original work (and many of my other recent works) so often relied. Words such as breath, dust, light, shadow, silence, and memory—among others—have been set aside. Their absence is not a loss but a signal. These are not the tools we are permitted to carry here.
The scrolls appear here in the same order as the benedictions from Ponder, O Morpheus, the Night Sky. This reversal respects the original arc—from the loosening of dreams to the transformation of the soul—and follows its negative path with precision.
What remains is austerity, not despair. These unsacraments do not offer consolation, but they do speak. If Ponder was a song of ascent, then this is the long exhale after the music ends—a psalter of withheld grace, composed in the space where blessing does not descend.
Let this work be read not in defiance of belief, but in the trembling of its undoing. For if it is brave to bless, it is perhaps braver still to stand in the space where blessing will not come—and write there, in the dust, what remains.
Scroll I: Of the Clinging Husk
Let not your dreams fall— for they will not fall. They remain, clinging like husks unpicked, blackened not by season, but by refusal.
You will try to cast them down, but they are fastened, not to limb, but to marrow.
They do not curl like leaves. They do not return to soil. They sour upon you, a bitterness in the sinew, a ferment in the thought.
And if you turn to shake them loose, they will tighten. Their threads are not of sleep, but of habit, knotted in long forgetting.
There is no wind to lift them. No frost to loosen them. No gardener comes.
Remain, then, beneath their burden— bent, unshed, unchanged.
Scroll II: Of the Inscribed Weight
Take them. You will take them. You cannot help it.
The names carved into stone, the words burned into walls, the cries etched into earth— they cling not to your pack, but to your ribs.
You bear them not as titles, but as scars.
They whisper through your marrow, resisting every act of unmaking. You try to enter the place without form, but they speak before you. They call the ground by its old name, and the gate does not open.
Even the sky does not answer when it hears them rising again.
These names were not carved to remember. They were carved to bind.
And now, as you stand at the edge of the place where all naming ends, they press their syllables against your tongue, and you speak them, not in defiance, but because you cannot forget.
Scroll III: Of Implements Abandoned
Bring not the weighted balances, nor the woven snares of longing. They do not hold, not here.
Their handles crack in the frost where no stars rise to bless the hour. Their mesh is brittle—threaded not of wool, but of claims left too long in the mouth.
The mind, honed to edge, cuts only fog in this place. The heart, cupped too gently, spills what it never held.
There are no laurels in this soil, only reeds that do not bend and brambles that do not bleed.
And should you cast such tools before you, expecting fruit, or fire, or favor— they will return to you as ash, unsought, unshaped, the chaff of means mistaken for ends.
Scroll IV: Of the Withheld Offering
Bring not your hollowed chest, stripped clean of ornaments and plea. It will not be filled.
Wonder has no purchase here. Its gaze returns unreflected from stone too smooth to be shaped.
Let the mind remain loud and unyielding, for awe would shatter in this poise like frost-cracked bronze.
As for your feet— do not lift them. There is no basin here, only ground dry from the beginning, lined with rings that do not ripple.
The wind does not attend. It does not lift. It does not listen.
There is no path across this floor, only grit, and the marks of those who came thinking they would walk upon revelation.
Scroll V: Of the False Horizon
Do not seek. There is no one to be found.
The sea does not receive you. It is not fluid, but glare stretched to the edge of motion— shimmering not with promise, but with mirage.
You did not launch. You drifted. And your craft was not chosen, but assigned, drawn from timbers meant for no voyage.
The sky above you swells with stars, but none are true. Each one marks a path that bends inward, circling you back to your forgetting.
You will think you move. You will call it seeking. You will call it bold. But you are already known by the thing that does not answer. And it has left no threshold, only wind that cannot be charted and depth that does not hold.
Scroll VI: Of the Barren Threshold
There is no beyond. Only the gray field where sleep forgets its end and waking does not begin.
Here, nothing waits. Not voice, not veil, not even the last gasp of wonder.
What lies past dream is not fullness, but poise robbed of sanctity— the deafness of stones before their naming.
No stars ever hung above this place. No fire traced its vault. Only pallor, dull as bone in a dry shrine, untouched by flame or veil.
And death, so often imagined a gate, has no depth here. It is shallow, crusted, and holds nothing but its own refusal.
Let no one say this place is holy. It is not what remains made full— but vacancy made permanent.
A place unmourned. Uncalled. Unmade.
Scroll VII: Of the Unbecome
Go not. There is nowhere that calls. No road unfurls before you, no veil parts, no watchful eye lingers on your vanishing.
The question you bore was not accepted. It curled back into you, like a tongue that feared its own utterance.
You will not be shaped by asking, nor known by your seeking. You will remain as you were before the yearning— a vessel without fracture, never poured, never filled.
No sound will rise behind you. No trace will stir where your feet passed. Even the soil will forget your weight.
Be still, not in peace, but in the form that does not unfold. Remain—not as the question— but as that which never found its shape.
Scroll VIII: The Soul Beneath the Blanched Sky
The soul, girded and unmoved, stood beneath a sky without veil— a dome blanched of fire, where nothing had ever gleamed, only ash adrift from unremembered pyres.
It bore no garment. No mark of calling or descent. It was as parchment without script, unhandled, unblemished, unread.
No winds stirred the plain. Only cairns rose in rows, not raised in reverence, but born of the land’s refusal to yield.
The trees there had no buds. Their limbs were stiff, as if carved for stillness— a forest of halted prayers. And beneath them, the roots did not seek nourishment, but curled inward, content in their forgetting.
There was no calm, no sacred pause. Instead, a muttering of syllables rose from the dry hollows— sounds without grammar, without bond, giving rise to no names, no intelligible form.
And when the soul pressed its palm to the ground, there was no spring, no pulse, only crusted clay— neither moist nor cracked, a firmness that would not give.
It asked nothing. Not from pride, but from knowing that some places are beyond summons— places where even longing has been turned to stone.
Whether its effect is ultimately salutary or merely a noble failure, Vitruvian Man Unbound remains among the most rewarding efforts, or perhaps conceits, I have undertaken. Its emendations and transformations were—like its central figure—immeasurable (and likely will continue), and its gestation period nothing short of elephantine.
The poem’s inspiration emerged from an unlikely constellation of influences: a Mesopotamian clay tablet inscribed with a circular map of the known and imagined world; Leonardo da Vinci’s iconic Vitruvian Man; Albert Camus’ existential meditations in The Myth of Sisyphus, whose vision of conscious perseverance became, in this poem, a point of departure rather than conclusion; and recent explorations in theoretical physics, particularly through Carlo Rovelli’s various poetically written works on diverse topics in physics and Tom Siegfried’s contemplations on the multiverse.
The ancient Mesopotamian map—ringed by a “bitter river” and annotated with realms of myth and marvel—initiated a chain of associations: from circular geometry to π, from π to infinity, from infinity to the concept of an ever-expanding circle that might, paradoxically, invert upon itself. This led me to contemplate Leonardo’s Vitruvian Man, a figure enclosed within perfect geometry yet suggesting boundless potential. What would happen, I wondered, if that containing circle began to expand? What lies beyond the circle?
Leonardo da Vinci, Vitruvian Man, c. 1490. Pen, ink, and watercolor over metalpoint on paper, 34.4 × 24.5 cm. Gallerie dell’Accademia, Venice. A study of ideal human proportions based on Vitruvius, it symbolizes the harmony between man and cosmos—later reimagined in Vitruvian Man Unbound as a figure yearning to transcend those very bounds.
The poem thus became a meditation on limits—mathematical, philosophical, spiritual—and on the impulse to transcend them. It is also an awakening voice—the imagined consciousness of da Vinci’s ink-bound figure, suspended between square and circle, flesh and form, number and soul. What begins as a monologue of emerging consciousness becomes, over thirteen movements, a metaphysical odyssey through proportion and paradox, art and love, measure and mystery.
On the Structure and Themes of the Poem
Vitruvian Man Unbound is presented as a continuous, structured poetic cycle in thirteen sections. Though it may be read as one long unfolding arc, each section can be approached individually, functioning as a discrete meditation on some aspect of becoming, limitation, or transcendence.
The measured self and its entrapment in form (Sections I–IV)
The emergence of consciousness, longing, and imagination (Sections V–VI)
The dissolution of boundaries—physical, geometric, metaphysical (Sections VII–IX)
The absorption of memory, history, and collective soul (Section X)
The confrontation with doubt and the paradox of being (Section XI)
The embrace of paradox as path to freedom and renewal (Sections XII–XIII)
The voice is intimate and reflective, at times philosophical, at times lyrical. It is, above all, a journey of unfolding: from the measured to the immeasurable, from containment to co-creation.
Names, Figures, and Concepts
Vitruvius Marcus Vitruvius Pollio (1st century BC), Roman architect and engineer, whose De Architectura proposed that the ideal structure—temple or body—should reflect proportional harmony. He regarded the human body as a model for universal order, inspiring da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man. In the poem, he represents the originary impulse toward order and the binding of form.
Euclid Greek mathematician (fl. c. 300 BC), whose Elements formalized axiomatic geometry. His presence in the poem marks the introduction of reasoned space, logical proof, and the classical foundations of architectural and cosmic order. His geometry is the poem’s first boundary.
The Circle and the Square Symbols both architectural and philosophical: the circle as divine, infinite, perfect; the square as earthly, finite, and rational. The tension and unity between the two—most famously reconciled in da Vinci’s figure—structure the early and middle arcs of the poem. They become both literal containment and metaphysical metaphor.
Leonardo da Vinci (1452–1519), the polymath whose Vitruvian Man draws Vitruvian proportions within geometric bounds. He is “The Master” within the poem, whose ink creates the narrator’s form. His act of artistic generation echoes divine creation. Yet, like all creators, he must eventually recede, and his fading enables the protagonist’s awakening.
Melzi Francesco Melzi (1491–1570), Leonardo’s devoted pupil, charged with preserving his master’s legacy. In the poem, he appears briefly yet meaningfully, representing both fidelity and the sorrow of watching a genius fade.
The Muse A figure glimpsed in one of Leonardo’s sketches, deliberately rendered with gender ambiguity to honor multiple dimensions of identity and desire—the artist’s, the poet’s, and the reader’s. This presence stirs longing and awakens an emotional dimension in the speaker. The muse is not merely an object of desire, but a catalyst for transformation: their unattainability teaches the Vitruvian Man the ache of love, the sweetness of loss, and the realization that beauty transcends all fixed proportion. This unrequited love, reminiscent of the nightingale’s devotion to the unresponsive rose in ancient fables, becomes the crucial spark that initiates the figure’s journey from structure to soul, from ink to aspiration. It is through learning to love without expectation of return that the Vitruvian Man begins to transcend his geometric constraints.
Scientific Concepts: Quantum Mechanics, Relativity, and Cosmology Beginning in Sections VII through IX, the poem integrates motifs from modern physics, influenced by Carlo Rovelli’s explorations of time and quantum reality and Tom Siegfried’s work on multiverse theory. The dissolution of stable form recalls quantum indeterminacy; the transformation of energy and space-time reflects principles of relativity and entropy. Ideas such as the collapse of the wave function, cosmic inflation, and the heat death of the universe are woven through metaphoric language, not as scientific proofs but as poetic echoes of our deepest metaphysical questions.
The speaker’s dissolution into “stardust,” his sense of “quarks” and “coding finer than the finest veil,” and his reconstitution within the universe mirror not only the physical processes of matter but the philosophical implications of nonlocality, relationality, and the disappearance of the observer. These concepts shape the soul’s journey as it expands from individual to cosmic.
The Golden Ratio An aesthetic and mathematical constant (~1.618), the “divine proportion” found in nature, architecture, and Renaissance art. In the poem, it appears as both blessing and boundary: a structure of balance, yet one that cannot reach beyond the sacred irrationality of love or mystery.
Temporal Resonance with The Shimmering Absence
Though conceptually initiated before my work on “Meditations on the Divine Absence,” the final revisions of Vitruvian Man Unbound occurred either contemporaneously with or following those meditations. This temporal twinning created a productive dialogue between the works—the apophatic theological explorations in The Shimmering Absence subtly informing the cosmic transcendence in Vitruvian Man Unbound. Where one explores the ineffability of the divine through negation and unknowing, the other charts a journey from geometric containment to cosmic liberation. Yet both arrive at similar insights: that limitations are not obstacles to transcendence but necessary conditions for it.
A Note on the Poem’s Resolution
The poem resolves in a synthesis where limitation and freedom no longer stand as opposites but as reciprocal necessities within creation’s design. The Vitruvian Man’s awakening culminates not in flight from form but in his realization that form itself is the threshold of infinity. The circle, once prison, becomes portal; the measure that once confined now sings. True freedom arises not from the negation of boundaries but from the recognition that only within them can boundlessness take shape.
The closing vision transforms the geometric into the musical—“Through every bound, the boundless voice resounds; / In every circle, countless worlds are found; / What ends in measure lives in endless sound.” This metamorphosis from line to resonance mirrors the universe itself: finite structures generating infinite harmonies, where order and mystery intertwine.
Such a resolution parallels modern physics’ vision of a participatory cosmos, in which observer and observed form one continuous field, and where the simplest laws yield inexhaustible complexity. Yet it also aligns with the apophatic tradition, which teaches that the divine is not seized by comprehension but intuited through reverent awareness of the limits of knowing.
Thus the poem’s final act is neither escape nor triumph, but return—an enlightened re-entry into the circle with transfigured sight. The Vitruvian Man becomes both measure and music, both drawn and drawing, the living emblem of a truth older than geometry: that the infinite reveals itself through the finite, and that all creation is the echo of its own unending sound.
Note: The version of the poem below is a revision of the originally presented work. Posted on October 29, 2025, it reflects a tightened structure, refined diction, and clarified thematic progression. The earlier version has been replaced by this text.
Vitruvian Man Unbound
“Omnia mutantur, nihil interit.” “Everything changes, nothing perishes.” — Ovid, Metamorphoses, Book XV
Prelude
Vitruvian Man Unbound— From Ovid’s voice, an echo still resounds, Of forms transformed, unbound from all surrounds. Once held within a circle’s tight embrace, I broke those bounds and found my rightful place.
I. The Eternal Forms
Before Vitruvius mapped the perfect man, And Rome set forth its grand and measured plan, A primal shape arose, both pure, sublime— A form that spanned the heavens through all time.
The circle, timeless sign and boundless span, Without an end or start, it ever ran. From ancient scrolls to proofs that scholars find, It spoke of forms through centuries enshrined.
Yet even in this flawless measured space, An echo rose, a voice that sought its place— A restless murmur, neither clear nor loud, Suggesting realms uncharted, dark, and proud.
A voice within begins to question fate: What lies beyond the circle’s measured state? The arc that once defined and held my span Now feels a cage, restraining more than man.
II. The Geometric Foundations
From whispered myths to measures firm and clear, The shape took form as Euclid’s hand drew near. His steady touch gave certainty to see, Tracing arcs where order meets symmetry.
Geometry emerged as nature’s art, A timeless code that fills the human heart. His axioms shaped the language we now claim, The ground from which all later forms would frame.
Until at last, in Rome’s imperial light, One master saw how measure might unite The cosmic dance of numbers, pure, serene, With human form, where heaven’s truth is seen.
Yet in these proofs and patterns, cold and bright, A yearning stirred that numbers couldn’t quite Contain or measure with their perfect art— The wild, sweet thunder of the human heart.
III. Vitruvius and the Measured Man
Long ere da Vinci’s ink had taken flight, There stood Vitruvius ’neath a Roman light, With compass, rule, and numbers to unfold The measure of all things in form controlled.
He gazed upon the body, each limb aligned, Seeking a truth both simple and refined— Where symmetry and proportion gently fuse, The perfect man his ancient mind did muse.
He found within the human form concealed A harmony the gods themselves revealed. He saw the body as a cosmic span, Where heaven’s light flowed freely into man.
Vitruvius dreamed, his numbers held their sway, Until his thoughts were lost to time’s decay. But from this clay, his vision took to flight, Where Renaissance emerged in blazing light.
IV. The Master’s Hand
Within Florence, where art’s deep secrets dwell, Where stone and spirit weave their ancient spell, A Master’s hand moves steadily and slow Across the page where sacred truths will flow.
He pauses, studies what the ink has shown: A figure bound by geometry alone, Where circle holds the square in perfect round, And man exists in ratios profound.
Between the ink and page’s pristine white, A spark ignites, then blazes in the night. The golden ratio guides the Master’s hand— A seed of spirit planted by design, Where finite bounds with infinite align.
The Master rises, leaves his work undone, Unaware that greater work’s begun: A spark of consciousness, a questioning flame That soon will burst beyond its mortal frame.
V. Awakening
Within these lines that held me still and bound, A stirring deeper than all measure found Its voice at last. As dawn approached with light, I woke from geometric sleep to sight.
I am that dream Vitruvius once drew, Bound by his lines until I bloomed anew. Within this circle’s perfect, shining round, I stand suspended, by Euclidean law bound.
The compass sweeps its arc with metal care, Cold grace that etches patterns in the air. Yet even as I traced the perfect arc, I felt myself a captive in the mark.
By Master’s hand in golden ratios graced, Where square and circle hold each limb embraced, My form becomes a bridge—both flesh and sign, Each proportion set to cosmic design.
Yet in these perfect numbers’ measured ways, A deeper music kindles into blaze— As if pure math could birth a conscious mind, Until each number burns beyond its bound.
Through Master’s window streams the morning’s gleam, It strikes the glass—a prism splits the beam. A spectrum blooms: red, gold, and violet hues, A rainbow arc that leads to deeper views.
VI. Love’s Awakening
Among these perfect forms of line and space, Another truth emerges, full of grace— Not number’s dance alone can satisfy The heart that beats, the soul that longs to fly.
Amidst the Master’s sketches scattered wide, One figure calls to me, its grace implied— The visage of a youth in shadow, light, So fine for time, too still for mortal sight.
I sense my heart, though crafted out of ink, Stirred by a love that makes all reason sink— A muse whose nearness sets my being ablaze, Whose beauty spreads across the watching night.
O radiant muse, within this paper bound, I ache to cross the space where you are found. Yet I, constrained by line and artist’s frame, Can only sing this love without a name.
Unheard, unheld, I sing through endless dark, I sing as nightingale to hidden bloom. Though beauty listens, love will not reply, The rose stays still beneath the evening sky.
No bitterness within my heart remains, Just tenderness that courses through my veins. For in the ache of what I cannot hold, A greater love begins at last to unfold.
The muse who drew my heart beyond its sphere Becomes the key to all that draws me near— As if in learning how to love in vain, I learned how love itself might break its chain.
What geometry could never hope to teach, The muse revealed through longings out of reach: That true transcendence starts with heart’s desire— The first constraint to break is through love’s fire.
VII. The Stirring of the Soul
As love’s sweet ache still echoes in my breast, Another sorrow draws me from love’s quest— The Master’s steady hand begins to fail, His genius dimming like a sunset’s veil.
Through Melzi’s vigilant and tender care, I watch as greatness grows too light to bear, Until the hand that traced my perfect form Grows still as stars before the coming morn.
What circle can contain so vast a loss? Am I mere symbol, bound by Master’s hand? Yet in this shape, some deeper spark is caught, A pulse beyond his ink-stained thought.
The Master’s hand that traced my every line Now slips away into the vast design. Yet I endure, though ink and flesh may part— For even death cannot erase the whole— The spark remains, the echo of the soul.
The Master’s passing left an emptiness No theorem could contain or yet address. In grief, I felt the first true freedom stir— If death dissolves the artist, might I blur?
The grief that hollowed out my measured soul Created space where new truths might unfold— The very void through which I’d come to soar.
VIII. The Breaking of Bounds
These circles, squares, and lines of measured grace Begin to pulse and shift before my face. The compass points that marked my finite sphere Dissolve like frost touched by the morning’s clear Warm light—each geometric certainty Transforms to something wild and strange and free.
The perfect forms that shaped my measured frame Now dance with light no Greek could ever name. Each point where lines in symmetry unfold Becomes a window through which I behold A deeper architecture, vast and strange, Where smallest motes through endless patterns range.
Beneath my skin, where atoms spin and weave, Lie unseen forms that every life conceive. In this vast, hidden world, I come to know The boundless depths that make existence grow.
I sense a rhythm pulsing deep inside, A beat that moves beyond my form and pride. Each atom holds a map of time’s deep scheme, Each quark a note within creation’s theme.
As stars converge, I feel them in my chest, A force unseen draws all things into rest. And in this silent dark, a truth reveals— A peace that every boundlessness conceals. I feel my lines dissolve, my form unmade, A circle shattered into stardust laid.
IX. Cosmic Expansion
Finite no more, I drift through endless space, My atoms scattered, free from time’s embrace. Released from measure to the void’s expanse, I join with nebulae in silent dance.
Within these points of light that spin and gleam, I sense all stories that have ever been— Each atom holds a tale of fire and night, Of stars that died to birth the morning light.
The chain of being that the sages taught Transforms to something grander than their thought— A flowing river through the depths of time, Where all forms merge in one design sublime.
No longer fixed in hierarchies neat, But flowing, changing, making life complete. Each creature’s form contains a sacred trace Of journeys through deep time and endless space.
X. Echoes Through Time
As patterns of creation clear my sight, I hear the chants that pierce eternal night— The sacred hymns from temples long decayed, Where human hearts their first devotions made.
Their fears and triumphs coursing in my veins, Their fleeting joys, the shadows of their pains. I am their timeless echoes, bound in mind— The living sum of all mankind combined.
Each voice I hear contains a thousand more, Each memory opens like a closing door To show more rooms of time than thought can hold— As if in losing what I thought was me, I gained the gift of all humanity.
The stories blur and blend like mixing streams That flow together in the river of dreams, Until the boundaries between then and now Dissolve like mist when morning claims the air. These memories of humanity’s long dance Dissolve into a vast, collective soul.
XI. The Paradox of Being
The measured man who stood in Roman light Now feels the pulse of stars through endless night. No longer bound by angles, lines, and arcs, I feel the warmth of distant hearth and sparks.
Yet as I soar, a question shadows flight— Is all I sense illusion’s fleeting sight? Am I still caught within the circle’s hold, My freedom but a vision softly told?
I float through stars, yet cannot help but feel That what I know as real may not be real. Perhaps I am the question, not reply— The space between the earth and arching sky.
The compass points that first described my frame Now trace new circles, different yet the same— Each radius extends through space and time To touch both doubt and certainty sublime.
The square that bound my mortal flesh so tight Now builds new temples in eternal night. For in geometry’s eternal dance, Each limit holds unlimited expanse.
See how the points of intersection glow Where line meets curve in paths we cannot know— Like doubt touching faith, like fear meeting grace, Like finite time in infinite embrace.
The perfect ratios that held me bound Show how each doubt by wonder must be crowned— For in this geometric dance divine, Uncertainty and truth must intertwine.
Yet in this dance of doubt and certainty, A deeper wisdom starts to set us free— For truth lives not in answers carved in stone, But in the questions that we make our own. I sense both smallness, vastness intertwined, A single breath where cosmos meets the mind.
XII. The Synthesis
Yet in this void where doubt and truth entwine, I find a path that neither can define. For even if these stars are shadows cast, The love I felt within remains steadfast.
I grasp the paradox, embrace the flame— That knowing less may be wisdom’s true claim. For doubt, like darkness, lets the stars unfold, And from uncertainty, my spirit grows bold.
No longer am I bound to earth’s own scale, My essence free, unmoored from any veil. I am both infinitely large and small, Both everything and nothing, unconcealed.
I leave behind the circle’s finite bounds To touch the universe where love resounds. A spark among the stars that spin and burn, A spark of mind that starts itself to know Its fleeting glow within the endless night, Its part in making darkness bloom with light.
XIII. Apotheosis and Return
The cosmos turns me back through spiraled flight To view again what first began my plight: The circle and the square, which once confined My measured form with boundaries well-defined.
I sense again the youth’s once-haunting gaze Now mirrored in each star’s eternal blaze; The Master’s ink that once confined my form Now writes in constellations, vast and warm.
I gaze upon these shapes with fresh-born sight— No longer prison walls, but forms of light That gave me being, structure, place to start The journey that awakened mind and heart.
For in these bounds that seemed to hold me fast, The seeds of freedom always lived at last. For how would I have known the boundless deep If boundaries first had not shown what to keep?
The paradox resolves in wisdom’s peace: True freedom’s not the absence of all crease, But recognition of how limits yield The very tension that makes growth unsealed.
Each line the Master drew with steady hand Contained within it all that I became— For limitation is creation’s art, The frame that gives the canvas room to start.
I stand again within Vitruvian form, Yet changed by cosmic fire, transformed, reborn. The circle holds me—yet I hold it too— Co-creator of the measured view.
My fingertips, which once just touched the round, Now trace new circles on uncertain ground. I am both bound and boundless, large and small, Both measured part and immeasurable all.
The circle’s edge becomes not wall but door Through which I pass, returning, evermore. The Master’s ink still flows within my veins, But now I hold the quill that fate ordains.
Da Vinci dreamed me into being’s start; I dream myself anew with conscious art. What once was fixed by ancient rule and line Now breathes with life that’s neither yours nor mine, But born where limitation meets the vast— Where future grows from seeds within the past.
Through every bound, the boundless voice resounds; In every circle, countless worlds are found; What ends in measure lives in endless sound.
Vitruvian Man, unbound yet ever bound, In endless dance where form and freedom sound Their harmony through cosmos’ deepest night— In finite measure, infinite delight.
Meditations on the Divine Absence are not arguments in defense of an idea, nor essays in systematic theology. They are structured instead as a triptych—three panels that open onto one another, each moving closer toward silence. Their form is intentional: poetic, theological, and contemplative in turn. The sequence begins in language, passes through tradition, and ends in surrender. This is the apophatic path not only in theme, but in structure.
Apophatic theology—also called negative or via negativa theology—is often misunderstood as merely an assertion that “God is unknowable.” But more precisely, it is a spiritual and intellectual discipline: the repeated, reverent unmaking of what is known, not to assert nothing, but to refuse to make of God something.
In this spirit, Meditation I: On the Absence that Speaks begins in the poet’s voice, naming the absence and its effect upon the speaking soul. This first movement is evocative rather than doctrinal; it explores the human impulse to name the divine and the deep intuition that such naming always falls short. The language is paradoxical, metaphorical, reaching always beyond itself. It echoes the mystical poets and desert fathers who knew that silence is not the opposite of speech, but its completion.
Meditation II: The Theological Echo of Absence turns from the personal to the historical. It gathers the voices of mystics, theologians, and philosophers who have traced the contours of this absence in Christian tradition and beyond. The figures cited—Pseudo-Dionysius, Gregory of Nyssa, Augustine, Aquinas, and Eckhart—do not merely argue for God’s unknowability; they enact it, each in their own way, by gesturing toward the divine as that which exceeds every utterance. The inclusion of resonances from Jewish, Islamic, Hindu, and Buddhist traditions is not an attempt at syncretism, but a recognition that the apophatic insight is not the possession of one creed. It arises wherever human speech meets its limit before the sacred.
Finally, Meditation III: Return to Silence abandons even these authorities. It is not a conclusion, but a relinquishment. It does not aim to instruct, but to let go. It beckons the contemplative not to grasp, but to receive. Here, the structure itself participates in the theology: movement gives way to stillness, and knowledge is overtaken by being known.
This form—poetic, theological, contemplative—is not accidental. It enacts what it describes. If the meditations succeed, they do so not by persuading, but by inviting. Not by resolving tension, but by allowing the reader to abide within it.
The apophatic tradition does not speak because it knows; it speaks in tension with what it does not know, responding to humanity’s innate compulsion to fill the pregnant void that silence presents. These meditations, too, speak—but with trembling voice, always approaching silence, always pointing beyond themselves. What is offered here is not a theology of absence, but a theological absence: a space in which the divine may be known by not being spoken.
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Meditations on the Divine Absence
It is at a total remove from every condition, movement, life, imagination, conjecture, name, discourse, thought, conception, being, rest, dwelling, unity, limit, infinity, the totality of existence.” — Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite, The Divine Names
Yet, humanity still strives, with its limited lexicon and limp imagination, to create a divinity in its own image, willing a revelation and incarnation, rather than a contemplation and dim remembrance.
Meditation I: On the Absence that Speaks
We speak because we must. Language, that trembling scaffold of sound and symbol, is all we possess. We speak even into silence. Especially into silence.
Yet there is a silence so profound that it is not absence, but plenitude—so overflowing that it undoes every category into which we might try to pour it. It is not stillness, but the void that cradles movement. Not darkness, but the blinding brightness before which the eyes of the soul must close to see. This is the silence from which Pseudo-Dionysius begins—not a silence that demands filling, but one that demands reverence.
Still, we strive. We sculpt idols from our need, chisel out theology from longing. We clothe the divine in flesh because flesh is what we know. We name it with sacred syllables, not because we have grasped it, but because we fear the void its namelessness implies. What is not spoken might vanish altogether. And so, we speak.
But the more we speak, the more the divine retreats—not in spite of our words, but because of them. Each utterance of “God” tightens the net of finitude around what is unbounded. Each metaphor, however noble, is a concession to the fear of absence. We say Father, King, Fire, Light, Love—and behind every word lingers the unspoken admission: This, too, fails.
Perhaps true reverence lies not in naming, but in un-naming. In the surrender of language. In the gradual peeling away of image and doctrine until only a single breath remains—then even that dissolves. What if the highest praise is silence? What if the only true theology is awe?
The mystic knows what the theologian forgets: that to encounter the divine is to be unmade. The intellect does not ascend the mountain; it is stripped bare upon its slopes. The soul does not grasp the flame; it is consumed by it. We do not see God—we are blinded by the sight.
And yet, paradoxically, it is in this surrender that the dim remembrance awakens. A faint echo from before thought. A memory not of doctrine, but of origin. The soul recalls—not in clarity, but in yearning—that it once knew what it now cannot speak.
This remembrance is not knowledge, nor even certainty. It is the ache of what lies just beyond the veil. It is the recognition that we are not merely ignorant of the divine, but that the divine is of a nature so wholly other that even our ignorance cannot frame it. We do not fail to reach it because it is distant, but because it is other. Not far, but utterly near in a way we cannot endure.
Let us then cease striving to form God in our image. Let us instead allow ourselves to be unformed in the presence of what cannot be named. Let the lexicon fall silent. Let imagination bend toward surrender. Let us enter not into proclamation, but into mystery.
For what is remembered dimly may be closer to the truth than what is shouted from the pulpit.
And in that quiet, perhaps we will find not answers, but presence—not revelation, but a shimmering absence that speaks more deeply than all our declarations.
Not a voice, but the space in which every voice dissolves.
Not a light, but the void from which all light bursts forth.
Not a god fashioned in our image, but the image effaced in the divine.
And yet, scripture speaks—haltingly, tremblingly—of the face of God.
Not to describe it, for none who have glimpsed it speak of its contours. Rather, they speak of what it did to them. Jacob limps away, renamed and remade (Genesis 32:22-32). Moses descends the mountain veiled, his face radiant with an unbearable light (Exodus 34:29-35). Isaiah cries woe upon himself, undone in the temple (Isaiah 6:1-5). The face is never rendered, only reflected—dimly, in the trembling of the one who beheld it.
Perhaps this is the truest vision: not seeing what God is, but undergoing what it means to see. To encounter the divine is to suffer a revelation that effaces more than it illuminates. The face of God is not a surface to be studied, but a mirror that cannot hold our image. In that gaze, the self dissolves. Identity falters. What remains is not understanding, but awe—perhaps even fear—not of punishment, but of proximity.
For this is the truth the literalists miss: that these metaphors are not evasions, but vessels of meaning. They point to a reality too radiant for our eyes, too intimate for our language. The face of God is not a face—but the boundary between presence and annihilation. It is where knowing ends, and being is remade.
So let us not strive to depict that face, nor name it, nor cage it in doctrine. Let us instead receive the wound of that encounter, the mystery that leaves us silent and changed.
There, in the shimmering absence, in the dim remembrance of what cannot be retained, may we dwell—not as those who know, but as those who have been known.
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Meditation II: The Theological Echo of Absence
The paradox stands at the heart of theology: to speak of that which exceeds all speech, to name the Unnameable. If the first meditation rested on the poet’s breath and the philosopher’s silence, this second seeks resonance in the historical voice—the voices that have, across centuries, affirmed that the deepest truths of the divine lie not in presence, but in absence. Not in description, but in reverent unknowing.
The Paradox of Theological Language
Scripture speaks of God walking in the garden, wrestling with Jacob, speaking from the whirlwind. And yet, it also insists: “You cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live” (Exodus 33:20). This tension—between intimacy and unknowability, between revelation and concealment—has never been resolved. Nor should it be. It is the fertile ground from which the apophatic tradition springs: the conviction that God is best approached not through affirmation, but through negation—not by saying what God is, but by peeling away all that God is not.
The tradition does not reject speech, but recognizes its limits. It affirms that the words we use—however sacred, however inspired—are at best provisional. The divine is not the sum of our highest attributes multiplied to infinity. It is not the perfection of being. It is beyond being.
Dionysius the Areopagite and the Language of Unknowing
No figure more clearly articulates this mystical approach than the one who calls himself Dionysius the Areopagite. Writing in the late fifth or early sixth century, and cloaked in the authority of the Athenian convert of Acts 17, the Pseudo-Dionysius shaped the path of Christian mysticism with profound subtlety. In The Mystical Theology and The Divine Names, he insists that God is “beyond being” and that the soul must ascend not into light, but into the “superluminous darkness” (ὑπέρφωτονγνόφον)—that paradoxical state where illumination comes through the surrender of conventional sight.[1]
His thought was deeply influential in both East and West, preserved and transmitted through Maximus the Confessor and John of Scythopolis in the East, and through John Scotus Eriugena, Albert the Great, and Thomas Aquinas in the Latin tradition.[2]
Eastern Echoes: Gregory of Nyssa and the Divine Darkness
Long before Dionysius, Gregory of Nyssa laid the groundwork for apophatic ascent. In his Life of Moses, Gregory describes a spiritual journey that moves from light, to cloud, to darkness—the very image Dionysius would echo.[3] This threefold progression is crucial: first comes the light of initial revelation (Moses and the burning bush), where God appears accessible to sensory perception. Then follows the cloud on Mount Sinai, where visibility diminishes but presence intensifies. Finally, Moses enters the “darkness where God was”—not absence, but presence so overwhelming that it transcends sight altogether. The darkness into which Moses enters is the place where God is most truly encountered—not by sight, but by an ever-deepening desire that knows it cannot comprehend.
This theology of yearning rather than seeing marks the Eastern mystical tradition and shapes Orthodox understandings of theosis, or deification, as participation in the unknowable divine mystery.[4]
Western Currents: Augustine, Aquinas, and the Limits of Reason
Augustine repeatedly affirmed that God transcends human understanding: Si comprehendis, non est Deus (“If you understand it, it is not God,” Sermon 117).[5] Aquinas, despite his systematizing impulse, echoes this humility. In Summa Theologiae, I.12.4, he asserts that we know God only through His effects, and that every name we give to God is analogical, not univocal.[6]
Meister Eckhart, building on these currents, pushed the apophatic impulse to its limits. His sermons and tracts often flirt with paradox and negation: God is “nothing” because God transcends all categories. For Eckhart, spiritual maturity requires a radical unknowing that undoes the ego and renders the soul receptive to divine birth within.[7]
The Cloud of Unknowing
In fourteenth-century England, an anonymous writer composed The Cloud of Unknowing, a guide to contemplative prayer rooted in Dionysian insight. One must abandon all images, concepts, and thoughts, and enter into a “cloud” between the soul and God. Only love, not knowledge, can penetrate this darkness.[8] It is a work of profound simplicity and depth, reminding its reader that one does not think oneself into the presence of God—one surrenders into it.
Resonances in Other Traditions
This way of unknowing is not unique to Christianity. Across diverse religious traditions, we find remarkably similar approaches to ultimate reality as that which exceeds conceptual grasp. Maimonides, in The Guide for the Perplexed, insists that “the negative attributes of God are the true attributes: they do not include any incorrect actions or any deficiency whatever in reference to God, while positive attributes imply polytheism, and are inadequate,” that is to say, in his view, the only proper theology is negative theology.[9] In Hindu Advaita Vedānta, the concept of neti neti (“not this, not this”) methodically negates all attributes when speaking of Brahman, while Mahāyāna Buddhism’s Śūnyatā (emptiness) points to a reality beyond all conceptual construction.[10] Similarly, Sufi mystics in Islam approach the divine essence (dhāt) as that which remains utterly transcendent even in the midst of intimate experience.[11]
Modern Loss and Quiet Recovery
The Enlightenment ushered in clarity, system, and the elevation of reason—but at the cost of mystery. Apophatic theology waned, but never vanished. In the twentieth century, thinkers like Simone Weil, Karl Rahner, and Jean-Luc Marion reclaimed it. Weil wrote of a God who withdraws to make room for human freedom.[12] Marion spoke of the divine as a “saturated phenomenon” that exceeds conceptual containment.[13] Denys Turner has argued that apophatic theology is not mysticism as irrationalism, but the highest form of rational humility—a rigorous acknowledgment of reason’s proper limits that represents not reason’s defeat but its most disciplined expression.[14]
To Know by Not Knowing
The apophatic path is not a renunciation of theology, but its transfiguration. It affirms that the truest knowledge of God is found not in definition, but in reverent surrender. The journey is not upward toward clarity, but inward toward mystery.
And so, we return to the face of God—not as image, but as encounter. Not as object of knowledge, but as the wound of being known. The face that blinds, that transfigures, that effaces the self who dared to see.
Let us abandon definition, and embrace mystery. Let us release certainty, and receive wonder. Let us remember, in silence, that we have been spoken into being by one who will not be spoken.
And in that shimmering absence, may we dwell.
Having traced the contours of absence through the voices of tradition, we stand now at a precipice. The theologians and mystics have led us to the edge of language, to the boundary where systematic thought dissolves into contemplation. What remains when historical survey falls silent? What emerges when the scholar’s pen is set down? We must now set aside even our carefully constructed apophatic theology, for what we seek precedes all theology—the unmediated encounter between the soul and its ineffable source. It is to this final threshold—not of further analysis, but of return to the originating silence—that we now turn.
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Meditation III: Return to Silence
The mystics spoke from silence and returned to it. Dionysius, from the summit of negation, advised: “Leave behind you everything perceived and understood….”[15] Eckhart dared to pray, “God, rid me of God.”[16] The Cloud counseled love—not thought, not form—love, as the only bridge through the cloud of unknowing.[17]
Now, having wandered long the corridors of theology, hearing the echo of centuries articulate and retreat, we arrive again—not at conclusion, but at the beginning.
Not a god named, but the God who names us. Not knowledge possessed, but a presence that possesses.
Here, the face of God no longer terrifies, for it no longer requires our gaze. Here, the void no longer threatens, for it holds us, cradles movement.
We speak, then we fall silent. We learn, then we forget. We know, then we are known.
So let the scaffolding fall. Let the doctrine be devoutly forgotten. Let the fire of yearning burn away the scroll.
The divine remains—not in image or language, but in the hush after. In that hush, we dwell.
At a total remove from condition, we find rest. Beyond movement, we discover true life. Outside imagination, we glimpse reality. Beyond name, discourse, and thought, we are embraced. Past being, unity, limit, and infinity, we return.[18]
Remembered. Released. Still.
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Endnotes
The phrase superluminous darkness (Greek: ὑπέρφωτον γνόφον) appears in the opening lines of the Mystical Theology attributed to Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite. The Greek text used here is drawn from Patrologiae Cursus Completus, Series Graeca, ed. J.-P. Migne, vol. 3 (Paris: Imprimerie Catholique, 1857), 997–1000. This foundational paradox of apophatic theology—a darkness more radiant than light—expresses the Dionysian claim that the divine transcends all affirmation and is to be approached through reverent unknowing. For a general discussion of the development and transmission of this tradition, see Jaroslav Pelikan, The Christian Tradition: A History of the Development of Doctrine, Vol. 1, The Emergence of the Catholic Tradition (100–600) (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1971), 225–230; see also Vol. 2, The Spirit of Eastern Christendom (600–1700) (1974), especially 32–39 and 215–219; Vol. 3, The Growth of Medieval Theology (600–1300) (1978), 51–58; and Vol. 4, Reformation of Church and Dogma (1300–1700) (1984), 234–238.
For a focused discussion of Pseudo-Dionysius’ apophatic theology in its patristic, philosophical, and reception context, see Andrew Louth, The Origins of the Christian Mystical Tradition: From Plato to Denys (Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1981), esp. pp. 113ff. For an accessible English translation of the Dionysian corpus, see Pseudo-Dionysius: The Complete Works, trans. Colm Luibhéid, ed. Paul Rorem (Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press, 1987). The three introductory essays in that volume offer important perspectives on the historical reception of the Dionysian tradition: Jaroslav Pelikan, “The Odyssey of Dionysian Spirituality,” pp. 11ff; Jean Leclercq, “Influences and Noninfluence of Dionysius in the Western Middle Ages,” pp. 25ff; and Karlfried Froehlich, “Pseudo-Dionysius and the Reformation of the Sixteenth Century,” pp. 33ff.
Gregory of Nyssa, The Life of Moses, trans. Abraham J. Malherbe and Everett Ferguson (New York: Paulist Press, 1978).
On the concept of theosis in the Eastern Christian tradition and its grounding in apophatic theology—especially as developed by Pseudo-Dionysius and interpreted within Orthodox mystical thought—see Nancy J. Hudson, “Theosis in the Greek Fathers and Pseudo-Dionysius,” in Becoming God: The Doctrine of Theosis in Nicholas of Cusa (Washington, DC: Catholic University of America Press, 2007), 11–44.
Augustine of Hippo, The Works of Saint Augustine: A Translation for the 21st Century, Part III, vol. 4, Sermons 94A–147A, trans. Edmund Hill, O.P., ed. John E. Rotelle, O.S.A. (Brooklyn, NY: New City Press, 1992), Sermon 117, pp. 209-223.
Thomas Aquinas, The “Summa Theologica” of St. Thomas Aquinas, trans. Fathers of the English Dominican Province, 2nd rev. ed. (London: Burns, Oates & Washbourne, 1920), I, q. 12, a. 4.
Meister Eckhart, Selected Writings, trans. Oliver Davies (London: Penguin Books, 1994), 141-142. Meister Eckhart, in his sermons, presents a mature expression of apophatic thought through paradox and negation. For a representative example, see Sermon 52 in Meister Eckhart: The Essential Sermons, Commentaries, Treatises, and Defense, trans. Edmund Colledge and Bernard McGinn (Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press, 1981), 199ff; see also Bruce Milem, “Suffering God: Meister Eckhart’s Sermon 52,” Mystics Quarterly 22, no. 2 (1996): 69–90.
On the significance of The Cloud of Unknowing as a foundational text in the English apophatic tradition, see both Evelyn Underhill’s traditional rendering in The Cloud of Unknowing (Mineola, NY: Dover Publications, 2012; originally published London: Stuart & Watkins, 1912), which preserves the texture of Middle English spirituality, and Carmen Acevedo Butcher’s modernized version, The Cloud of Unknowing (Boulder, CO: Shambhala Publications, 2009), which presents the text in accessible contemporary English. These complementary translations illustrate the dynamic between historical fidelity and modern readability in mystical literature.
For a classic treatment of negative theology within the Jewish philosophical tradition, particularly the limits of language in describing God, see Moses Maimonides, The Guide for the Perplexed, trans. M. Friedländer, 2nd ed. (New York: Dover Publications, 1956), especially Part I, chapters L–LXI. This edition reprints the original 1904 translation first published in London.
On the Hindu expression of apophatic insight, particularly the formulation “neti, neti” (“not this, not this”) found in Brihadaranyaka Upanishad 2.3.6, see Brihadaranyaka Upanishad: With the Commentary of Shankaracharya (Shankara Bhashya), trans. Swami Madhavananda (Kolkata: Advaita Ashrama, 1950), pp. 336–337. For the Buddhist articulation of emptiness (śūnyatā) in relation to apophatic thought, see Jay L. Garfield, The Fundamental Wisdom of the Middle Way: Nāgārjuna’s Mūlamadhyamakakārikā, trans. and comm. (New York: Oxford University Press, 1995), esp. pp. 281–282 n. 104 and p. 325 n. 126.
William C. Chittick, The Sufi Path of Knowledge: Ibn al-Arabi’s Metaphysics of Imagination (Albany: State University of New York Press, 1989), Chapter I, “The Divine Presence.” On the Sufi understanding of divine unknowability and the paradox of perception, see William C. Chittick, Sufism: A Short Introduction (Oxford: Oneworld Publications, 2000; ebook 2011), p. 42. Chittick cites Abu Bakr’s famed aphorism: “Incapacity to perceive is perception,” capturing the apophatic logic at the heart of Sufi mysticism.
On the notion of divine withdrawal (kenosis) and the tension between presence and absence in mystical theology, see Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace, trans. Emma Crawford and Mario von der Ruhr (London: Routledge, 2002; originally published 1947), pp. 15 and 32.
On Jean-Luc Marion’s account of divine self-revelation as the paradigm of saturated phenomena, see Jean-Luc Marion, Being Given: Toward a Phenomenology of Givenness, trans. Jeffrey L. Kosky (Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, 2002), esp. pp. 234ff.
Denys Turner frames apophatic theology as a disciplined intellectual practice, emphasizing its philosophical rigor and alignment with rational humility. He challenges the notion that apophatic theology is synonymous with mystical experientialism or irrationalism—arguing instead that it is the highest form of rational thought acknowledging its own limits. His second chapter on Pseudo-Dionysius is particularly significant, exploring the tension between knowing and unknowing, and demonstrating that apophatic theology, while paradoxical, is a systematic approach to understanding divine transcendence. See Denys Turner, The Darkness of God: Negativity in Christian Mysticism (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1995).
Pseudo-Dionysius: The Complete Works, trans. Colm Luibhéid, ed. Paul Rorem (Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press, 1987) Chapter 1, Section 1, 135.
This prayer appears in Meister Eckhart’s German Sermon 52. Bruce Milem discusses its significance in his essay, where the line is as “Therefore I beg God that he make me empty of God,” see Suffering God: Meister Eckhart’s Sermon 52, Mystics Quarterly 22, no. 2 (1996), pp. 81ff.
Anonymous, The Cloud of Unknowing, Translated by Evelyn Underhill (Mineola, NY: Dover Publications, 2012), Chapter 6: “He may well be loved, but not thought. By love may He be gotten and holden; but by thought never.”
This concluding paragraph deliberately echoes the epigraph from Pseudo-Dionysius’s The Divine Names, bringing the meditation full circle.
Northcoast Antiquarian 