The First Wonder of the Day

By Donald S. Yarab


Rotary dial wall phone
Photo by Rafael Duran on Pexels.com

What is the most mundane thing we can contemplate as we begin our day?

If we can find wonder in that—and I am certain that we can—then we may find both purpose and beauty in the entirety of the day.

So, as I rise, I may peer out the bedroom window. The sun may be shining, or the rain falling softly, greying the morning light. Either is wondrous. Or perhaps I catch sight of the automobiles scurrying along the street. What a marvel—internal combustion engines and electric motors, their complexity tucked beneath the quiet hum of daily ritual. When my grandfather was born, such machines were not part of his everyday world.

I may repair to the bathroom and avail myself of indoor plumbing—another miracle. I recall that my other grandfather, raised on a farm in his teenage years, spent that portion of his youth relying on an outhouse, as well as drawing water from a pump. What comfort we possess without second thought.

In the kitchen, I open the refrigerator. Its quiet, steady hum speaks of a world preserved—meats, fruit, leftovers—all waiting in climate-controlled stillness. My grandmothers told me of the icebox, and the blocks of ice melting slowly with the day. What we now take for granted once required vigilance and care.

I may glance at the telephone—though now it is not on the wall, but in my pocket, answering to no cord. And yet I remember the telephone of my earliest childhood: one line, fixed to the wall, with a coiled cord and no screen. No call waiting. No voicemail. Only the ring, the voice, the taking turns. We managed. We even cherished it.

And when we sought knowledge, we turned to the bookshelf. A full set of encyclopedias, already well out of date, stood like solemn guardians of learning. We flipped through pages, cross-referenced entries, sometimes found what we sought. And if not—we went to the library. The card catalog was our compass, the stacks our pilgrimage. The answers came more slowly, but the seeking deepened our understanding.

I remember it all: a single television with three channels that went dark each night, a record player, a radio that belonged to my father and was not to be touched. I wore hand-me-down clothes from older cousins on the first day of school, and my mother sewed my pants with love and care. And we felt rich.

And now? A world of convenience surrounds us—lights, warmth, water, knowledge, sound, connection—available in an instant. But it is easy to forget that each of these was once impossible, then improbable, then a luxury.

Today, some cry out in anger for a past that never truly existed. They long for a myth, not a memory. But I find more strength, and far more truth, in simply being present—and being grateful.

To begin the day in wonder is to begin it rightly. For wonder is not the fruit of novelty, but of attention. It is not found in having more, but in seeing more deeply.

To begin in wonder is to begin in gratitude. And to begin in gratitude is to begin in truth.

My Friend, You Were There: A Reflection on Complicity


Warsaw Ruins 1944
Warsaw 1944

History shows that evil rarely marches under banners we immediately recognize. Too often, it comes draped in righteousness, purity, and fear. This piece is a lament for how easily we have been—and still can be—drawn into the machinery of cruelty.


My Friend, You Were There

My friend,
When the Holy Catholic Church, seeking to preserve the Faith in all its radiant purity,
instituted the Inquisition,
you were there—
not as a bystander,
but as a willing voice.

You denounced the old widow,
who lived alone with her cat.
You whispered against the Jewish family—
familiar, yet forever marked as other—
and gave your assent to their undoing.

You crowded into the square to watch the trials.
You sang hymns
as the flames crowned their bodies with smoke.
You wept tears of joy
that the world was made purer that day.

My friend,
When the ships came heavy with human cargo,
and the auction blocks stained the soil,
you were there.

You placed your bids.
You weighed their flesh.
You wrote the laws that chained their children.

You sang hymns on Sunday,
and broke their backs on Monday.
You called it providence.
You called it order.

My friend,
When the traders came with flags and rifles,
when the rivers flowed with rubber and blood,
you were there.

You signed the charters.
You counted the profits.
You sold the shackles and the scales.

You called it commerce.
You called it destiny.

My friend,
When the banners of the Reich unfurled,
and the drums of destiny beat their hollow call,
you were there.

You shouted with the crowds
as glass shattered from shopfronts.
You signed the letters,
you cheered the laws,
you raised your hand high in salute.

You bought the house,
the shop,
the art your neighbors were forced to leave behind.

You praised the strong hand
that swept away the weak.
You rejoiced as neighbors vanished,
grateful that your streets were made clean.

My friend,
When Stalin summoned the will of the people
to root out the enemy within,
you were there.

You reported the whispered doubts
of your cousin,
your friend,
your brother.

You paraded with red flags
while the trucks rumbled into the night.
You filled the quotas.
You seized the land.
You counted the spoils
as others disappeared.

You sang of the bright tomorrow
as you cast your eyes down
and stepped over the absent.

My friend,
When Mao lifted the Little Red Book,
and the children cried out against their fathers,
you were there.

You led the chants.
You scrawled denunciations across the walls.
You struck the old professor who dared to hesitate.
You cheered as the temples fell,
and the old poems burned,
convinced you were building a paradise
on the bones of the past.

My friend,
When Pol Pot promised that the fields
would bloom with new life,
you were there.

You marched the teachers into the paddies.
You pointed the rifle.
You praised the year zero
that would erase the memory of all that came before.

You smiled
as the world was reborn in silence.

My friend,
When the generals rose in the name of order,
when the prisons filled and the stadiums overflowed,
you were there.

You nodded at the names.
You counted the profits.
You watched the blindfolded taken at night.

You called it security.
You called it salvation.

My friend,
You have always been there.

Only too late did you realize.
Only too late did you doubt—
but not much.

You fell silent,
lest you betray your doubt.
You looked away,
lest you see.

You told yourself it would be different this time.
You told yourself you had learned.
But the signs are familiar.
The words are familiar.
The silence is familiar.

And it is happening again.

James Baldwin on Race: Insights from ‘The Cross of Redemption’

Photo of James Baldwin in  1969
James Baldwin in 1969. Photograph: Allan Warren CC BY-SA 3.0

One of the books I am currently reading is James Baldwin: The Cross of Redemption (Uncollected Writings), edited with an introduction by Randall Kenan and published in 2010. One of the essays in the collection, dated 1984 but still strikingly relevant, is “On Being White … and Other Lies.” A particular passage from that essay stood out to me:

“Just so does the white community, as a means of keeping itself white, elect, as they imagine, their political (!) representatives. No nation in the world, including England, is represented by so stunning a pantheon of the relentlessly mediocre. I will not name names—I will leave that to you.

But this cowardice, this necessity of justifying a totally false identity and of justifying what must be called a genocidal history, has placed everyone now living into the hands of the most ignorant and powerful people the world has ever seen. And how did they get that way? By deciding they were white. By opting for safety instead of life. By persuading themselves that a black child’s life meant nothing compared with a white child’s life. By abandoning their children to the things white men could buy. By informing their children that black women, black men, and black children had no human integrity that those who call themselves white were bound to respect. And in this debasement and definition of black people, they debased and defined themselves.” (The Cross of Redemption, pp. 168–169)

This passage struck me as just as relevant today as it was in Baldwin’s time. The language of racial division may sometimes be more coded—though often, it is not—but the underlying dynamics remain. Some now speak of a mythical golden age to be restored, painting diversity, equity, and inclusion as enemies to be vanquished. Yet Baldwin’s pantheon of the relentlessly mediocre remains firmly in place, with a growing number of elected officials – led by one in particular – who traffic in racial grievance and nostalgia for an edifice of the past that was built upon exclusion. The resentment they cultivate is growing more visceral, more vengeful by the day.

At its core, Baldwin’s essay is a reminder that race is a social construct—one created not out of noble ideals or science but out of moral rot. It was, and remains, a means of defining power and justifying subjugation. Today’s renewed emphasis on racial division in politics—whether explicit or coded—is no less morally bankrupt than in Baldwin’s time.

Jordan Anderson, Freedman, Writes to His Former Master in 1865, from Dayton, Ohio

Jordan Anderson, Freedman

It is a historical nugget which has been oft-told in newspapers, blogs, and classrooms over the years. I reposted a telling of the story on Facebook several years ago and, having come across the recently again, am inclined to tell the story again. It simply deserves to be told, again and again.

Jordan (or Jourdan) Anderson was born somewhere in Tennessee around 1825 and by age 7 or 8 had been sold to a plantation owned by Gen. Paulding Anderson in Big Spring, Tennessee. Patrick Henry Anderson was one of the general’s sons and, by the mid-1840s owned Jordan and other slaves. Jordan Anderson married Amanda McGregor in 1848 and they had 11 children. During the Civil War, Union troops camped on the plantation. The Provost-Marshall-General of the Department of Nashville freed Jordan in 1864. After being freed, Jordan Anderson made his way to Dayton, Ohio, where he spent the remaining 40 years of his life.

In July 1865, shortly after the conclusion of the Civil War, Jordan Anderson’s former master, Confederate Col. Patrick Henry Anderson, wrote to him asking him to return to the plantation to help him to restore it. Anderson’s letter in response, dictated from his home in Ohio in August 1865, was also published in many newspapers at the time, including the Cincinnati Commercial. It is thought that he was assisted in the endeavor by his abolitionist employer, Valentine Winters. The response is viewed by some as an example of “slave humor” or satire one a level with that written by Mark Twain, whereas I view it as a simply elegant, human, and moving response that encapsulates in remarkably civil tones the day-to-day violence and injustice of the South’s so-called “peculiar institution” and a profound assertion of dignity.

The complete text of Anderson’s response to his former master is as follows:

“Dayton, Ohio, August 7, 1865.

To my old Master, Colonel P. H. Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee.
           
Sir:

I got your letter, and was glad to find that you had not forgotten Jourdon, and that you wanted me to come back and live with you again, promising to do better for me than anybody else can. I have often felt uneasy about you. I thought the Yankees would have hung you long before this, for harboring Rebs they found at your house. I suppose they never heard about your going to Colonel Martin’s to kill the Union soldier that was left by his company in their stable. Although you shot at me twice before I left you, I did not want to hear of your being hurt, and am glad you are still living. It would do me good to go back to the dear old home again, and see Miss Mary and Miss Martha and Allen, Esther, Green, and Lee. Give my love to them all, and tell them I hope we will meet in the better world, if not in this. I would have gone back to see you all when I was working in the Nashville Hospital, but one of the neighbors told me that Henry intended to shoot me if he ever got a chance.

I want to know particularly what the good chance is you propose to give me. I am doing tolerably well here. I get $25 a month, with victuals and clothing; have a comfortable home for Mandy (the folks call her Mrs. Anderson), and the children, Milly, Jane, and Grundy, go to school and are learning well. The teacher says Grundy has a head for a preacher. They go to Sunday school, and Mandy and me attend church regularly. We are kindly treated. Sometimes we overhear others saying, “Them colored people were slaves” down in Tennessee. The children feel hurt when they hear such remarks; but I tell them it was no disgrace in Tennessee to belong to Colonel Anderson. Many darkeys would have been proud, as I used to be, to call you master. Now if you will write and say what wages you will give me, I will be better able to decide whether it would be to my advantage to move back again.

As to my freedom, which you say I can have, there is nothing to be gained on that score, as I got my free papers in 1864 from the Provost-Marshal-General of the Department of Nashville. Mandy says she would be afraid to go back without some proof that you were disposed to treat us justly and kindly; and we have concluded to test your sincerity by asking you to send us our wages for the time we served you. This will make us forget and forgive old scores, and rely on your justice and friendship in the future. I served you faithfully for thirty-two years, and Mandy twenty years. At $25 a month for me, and $2 a week for Mandy, our earnings would amount to $11,680. Add to this the interest for the time our wages have been kept back, and deduct what you paid for our clothing, and three doctor’s visits to me, and pulling a tooth for Mandy, and the balance will show what we are in justice entitled to. Please send the money by Adams Express, in care of V. Winters, Esq., Dayton, Ohio. If you fail to pay us for faithful labors in the past, we can have little faith in your promises in the future. We trust the good Maker has opened your eyes to the wrongs which you and your fathers have done to me and my fathers, in making us toil for you for generations without recompense. Here I draw my wages every Saturday night; but in Tennessee there was never any pay-day for the negroes any more than for the horses and cows. Surely there will be a day of reckoning for those who defraud the laborer of his hire.

In answering this letter, please state if there would be any safety for my Milly and Jane, who are now grown up, and both good-looking girls. You know how it was with poor Matilda and Catherine. I would rather stay here and starve and die, if it come to that, than have my girls brought to shame by the violence and wickedness of their young masters. You will also please state if there has been any schools opened for the colored children in your neighborhood. The great desire of my life now is to give my children an education, and have them form virtuous habits.

                                                                        From your old servant,
                                                                        Jourdon Anderson

P.S.— Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me.”